Relationships: Communication is Key
Let’s face it; humans are not always the best communicators. We may have built buildings that scrape the skies, and invented machines that connect the world, but sometimes we really get stuck on the simple things, like talking to each other.
For many people, the beginning of the year means high stress, little time, and even less money. At times like these, trying to maintain healthy relationships, whether with your friends, family or partner, can be pretty tough.
As we all know, the special people in your life are what really matter – much more than work or money. This means that it’s important to make sure our relationships are strong, especially with our significant others.
So, we decided to come up with a short list of pointers on how to better communicate with your partner – even when you argue!
Speak for Yourself
One of the top communication tips is learning to use the word “I”. Instead of telling your partner “You never help with the housework” rather say “I feel upset when you don’t help me with the housework”. It comes across much less aggressively and also lets your partner understand how you feel.
Check Your Body Language
Whether we realise it or not, 55% of communication is actually body language. It’s not so much what you say or the tone you say it in, but the way your use your body when you speak to someone. Rolling your eyes, crossing your arms, or pursing your lips can have a major effect, especially if it doesn’t match what you are saying. Make sure to be aware of what your body is saying.
Practise What You Preach
If you tell your partner you love them, show them that you love them too. Make them their favourite meal, or do the dishes even if it’s their turn, or just give them a big hug. Words become meaningless unless backed up by action.
Say it Straight
If you want something, ask for it – don’t mince your words. Remember, your partner can’t read your mind or predict what you want or need, no matter how well they know you. Not only is this an unfair assumption, it also leads to unreasonable expectations which can only be deflated when your partner doesn’t meet them!
Take a Break
If you are having an argument that you can see is going around in circles, take a timeout. Sometimes, when you can see that you aren’t getting anywhere, taking a breather is the best thing you can do. This only works, however, if you agree on a set time or date to revisit the topic.
Know Yourself
It’s easy to get caught up in emotions such as stress, frustration, and anger, but oftentimes, these are just surface emotions that are the cause of much deeper feelings, such as disappointment, rejection, and insecurity. Before you get angry or annoyed with your partner, take a moment to think about the reasons you feel that way and what could be the root cause. Explain these deeper feelings to your partner and he will likely be more understanding – especially because your honesty and vulnerability has shown your trust in him or her.
Last but not least, remember that your partner is human, and has flaws too. In the words of Ellen DeGeneres, “be kind to one another”!
